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Is Collaborative Divorce the Right Choice?
Author Jonathan Roeder Posted on

Collaborative Divorce Mediation: Is it the Right Choice for You?

A collaborative divorce, or collaborative divorce meditation, is an excellent way to work through dissolving your marriage in a way that allows you to focus on working together privately. With collaborative divorce, dissolving your marriage doesn’t have to be contentious or drawn out in litigation.

Instead, a collaborative approach can help you get through divorce without the court’s interference for the bulk of the process. Here we will discuss the benefits of taking a unified approach to divorce, who collaborative divorce is suitable for, and what a collaborative divorce entails in the state of Arizona.

Who Should Consider a Collaborative Divorce?

A collaborative divorce is an excellent option for people who do not wish to engage in lengthy divorce proceedings through the court. Using a collaborative approach to your divorce will help you avoid hashing out your issues in court, which costs time, effort and money. With a collaborative divorce meditation, you can stay on top of the process and have your attorney assist you with the various legal aspects of ending your marriage.

If you want a divorce that focuses on team effort and leaves out the drawn-out legalities, a collaborative divorce is the way to go. You and your soon to be ex-spouse can work through mediation with the shared goal of parting ways in an amicable manner.

What Makes Collaborative Divorce a Good Option?

Collaborative divorce mediation is a good option for several key reasons. We’ve listed the most common reasons people choose collaborative divorce.

You Can Avoid Lengthy Litigation

This benefit has been discussed above, but it is important to stress that collaborative divorce mediation keeps your divorce proceedings in your hands. In traditional divorce proceedings, a judge presides over your divorce and steps in to make decisions if you and your former spouse are at a point of disagreement. While this process works in situations where the involved parties are experiencing difficulties settling issues, it is not necessarily applicable to couples who want to divide assets and settle custody issues on their own.

You’ll Experience Flexibility in Scheduling Negotiations

With mediation, you can schedule divorce negotiations around other important day-to-day needs like work and the children’s school hours. You and your team can decide on a timeline for the divorce and work to resolve issues in a manner that helps everyone involved save precious time. Traditional litigation considers availability of the courts first and foremost, which can lead to a divorce that takes significantly longer to finalize.

You’ll Save Money on Court Fees

SSave Money on Court Fees

If you have a complex case where you need to divide businesses, split valuable assets, and sort out child custody, divorce litigation can become very expensive. Through mediation, the process of settling issues pertaining to children and finances can be much more affordable. Saving money in a time where you’re going through such a drastic life change can have a significant impact on your financial standing and should not be overlooked. Collaborative divorce mediation can achieve the same results while preventing you from spending thousands of dollars.

Collaborative Divorce Can Be Less Stressful For Children

Collaborative divorce mediation can prove much less stressful for children, especially if they would have been required to appear in a courtroom in front of a judge. In court proceedings where divorcing parents aren’t communicating with each other to make important decisions regarding the well-being of the children, children may need to meet with court officials. In mediation, both parents work together with their attorneys and can request the assistance of child specialists, communication liaisons and other professionals to maintain a healthy and productive dialogue about childcare needs.

When couples are divorcing, the idea of their child sitting in a courtroom often isn’t considered until discussion has devolved to the point of litigation. Fortunately if you are filing for divorce in Arizona and looking to do so via collaborative mediation, you can avoid this possibility. Settling your divorce and child custody arrangement through mediation can be a more gentle experience for the entire family.

Collaborative Divorce Helps Keep Your Divorce a Private Matter

In collaborative mediation, you can consult with legal representatives the same as you would in traditional proceedings. You have the added benefit of being able to ask questions, challenge decisions and work through points of disagreement yourself instead of relying on a judge. While your efforts are collaborative, your attorney will still serve to protect your rights and work in your best interest. Having legal counsel in your corner ensures you cover your needs in the process of dissolving your marriage.

What Issues Are Covered in a Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce

In a collaborative divorce, mediation allows for negotiation between parties to reach satisfactory resolutions. Unlike traditional litigation, divorcing spouses rely on their attorney team and the mediator to help them come to agreements on all the issues usually covered in courtroom divorces. The most common issues you can expect your attorney and mediation team to focus on are as follows.

Division of Assets & Property

The division of assets and other property is a highly contested and complex divorce matter. Many couples, even those who are not interested in fighting in court, struggle to comb through the details of asset division effectively. With collaborative divorce mediation, this process is made smoother with the help of your attorney and a financial professional who has the expertise to settle property division issues. Your team will need the full cooperation of you and your spouse to accurately divide your assets, property, and finances.

Spousal Maintenance

With the help of your collaborative divorce attorney and your financial professional, you and your spouse will decide whether spousal support is warranted and determine the details of the arrangement. To successfully negotiate spousal support, you and your spouse must provide accurate financial information so the professionals can make a determination regarding financial support. Once an agreement is reached, a support document is created and both parties must honor the agreement. The spouse who is responsible for providing spousal support will then be required to assist the other with essential financial needs for the time specified.

Child Custody

Child custody (now referred to as legal decision-making) is often the most difficult part of a divorce to settle. When children are involved, emotions run high. As a result, power struggles over legal and physical custody can drag divorces on for extended periods of time. In a collaborative divorce process, divorcing spouses and their team openly communicate to negotiate the needs and desires of each party regarding childcare and important decisions. Like all other aspects of the divorce, spouses are encouraged to talk out issues so they can come to an agreement that works for both parties and serves the best interest of the child.

With the help of a collaborative team of professionals, divorcing spouses can develop a parenting plan that helps them decide how to communicate about childcare, how to schedule physical custody, and what they will do when critical issues regarding the child’s education, shelter, medical care and socialization arise. The parenting plan can then be approved and finalized by a family court judge.

Pets and Pet Care

A beloved pet is also an important member of the family that must be taken into consideration when spouses are divorcing. Decisions often revolve around which spouse has a stronger attachment to the pet or which spouse does most of the daily pet care. Still, it can be difficult to decide who will keep the pet moving forward. If an agreement over pet care and costs cannot be easily reached, a collaborative team can help decide how to share pet care and costs.

What Is the Cost of Filing For Collaborative Divorce in AZ?

The costs of divorce litigation can be very expensive. Attorney fees alone can range from tens of thousands of dollars to even a hundred thousand in more complex cases. While each divorce case differs in complexity, divorcing spouses who opt for a collaborative divorce process find themselves spending a fraction of the costs associated with traditional litigation.

Collaborative divorce can cost as little as a few thousand dollars. You will typically pay an attorney an hourly rate for the time they spend working on your case, but you are only billed for the time your mediator spends in mediation. Furthermore with the time saved in mediation the entire divorce process is less taxing on spouses, children, and even pets.

We Can Help You During Your Divorce

Help During Your Divorce

Divorce is a common but serious process that entails a great deal of decision-making and compromise. If you are filing for divorce in Arizona via collaborative divorce mediation, it is essential to prepare for the steps required to settle matters in a way that benefits the entire family.

Our legal experts are available to help you stay in control of the divorce process and effectively work through important issues to reach solutions that preserve communication and foster harmony. Count on us to assist with the creation of documents that will outline the essential aspects of your divorce. Together, we can ensure all your most important needs are thoroughly addressed and settled.

*Editor’s Note: This article was originally published Mar 30, 2018 and has been updated September 14, 2022.

How Financially Prepare for AZ Divorce
Author Jonathan Roeder Posted on

How to Prepare Finances for a Divorce in AZ

A handful of important considerations beckon your attention throughout the divorce process. And, being prepared can help ensure your assets stay protected.

How to Make Financial Moves Before a Divorce

If you or your partner have recently filed for divorce in Arizona, there are a few things that you should try to do as quickly as possible.

Choose a Lawyer that’s Right for You

One of the most important steps you can take before beginning a divorce is hiring an attorney you can trust. Divorce can be an intimidating process that is already emotional and stressful, and feeling unsure how to proceed can create even more anxiety.

By hiring an experienced AZ attorney, you will receive advice and assistance throughout your divorce, including formidable representation in court. A divorce lawyer is experienced with all the issues that may occur during divorce, including financial considerations. If you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse differ regarding the division of assets, an attorney can help you handle financial concerns in a way that preserves your future.

Organize and Identify Your Assets

Organize Records

Identifying your assets also helps if you think your partner may try to sell or hide any community assets in an attempt to avoid dividing them with you. Bank statements, credit card statements, mortgage statements, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and any physical assets or properties should all be accounted for. It is critical to know what you have before you begin the property division process.

Estimate the Cost of Your Divorce

Unfortunately, divorce is rarely a cheap process. Many people go into divorce not expecting its high price tag and are therefore uncertain what to do with money before a divorce begins. Whether you choose mediation to settle various aspects of your divorce out of court or engage in lengthy litigation to make decisions, divorce expenses can add up quickly. Since every divorce is different, it isn’t easy to determine the potential cost of your case. However, estimating attorney fees, moving costs, court fees, and regular monthly expenses can help to give you a better idea of how to manage your money moving forward.

Avoid Making Major Financial Decisions

Of course, divorcing is itself a major financial decision that will impact your finances. However, other major decisions, like changing your beneficiaries, closing accounts, and transferring assets before a divorce can hurt you during the divorce process. These things will be handled legally once the divorce is underway and the division of assets has begun. If you make these moves too soon, you may risk contempt of court or lose your assets to your soon-to-be-ex.

How to Prepare Finances for an Arizona Divorce

During your divorce, division of assets will result in property ownership changes, in addition to your regular and divorce-related expenses. Here are some tips for handling your finances during the chaos of a divorce.

Close Joint Accounts

Close Joint Accounts

Once you have begun the divorce process, it’s time to start closing your joint accounts. Often, bank accounts have both partners’ names, and funds will have to be transferred individually to new accounts. Joint credit cards must be canceled through the creditor, and you’ll have to open your own new credit account.

Closing joint accounts can help prevent your ex-spouse from misusing funds before the divorce is finalized. It’s important that you open a new checking and savings account in your own name and arrange income for deposits and debits for expenses to be handled through the new account. You should also keep documentation regarding when you closed your joint accounts and began your own.

Get An Asset Evaluation

Your assets are important. Whether you’re dealing with expensive collectible items, a shared family home, or your retirement fund, evaluating your assets is critical for a fair property division process. By hiring a professional to evaluate your and your ex-partner’s assets, you can ensure that the correct value is placed on each asset and that they are fairly divided during the divorce. A professional asset evaluation should be done as soon as possible to avoid delays in your divorce and prevent your partner from hiding assets.

Gather Financial Documentation

To properly handle your finances and ensure that property division occurs fairly during your divorce, you will need to collect a great deal of financial documentation. If you have not already done so prior to beginning your divorce, gather bank statements and credit card statements to help to give your lawyers and the court a better idea of how finances were used throughout your marriage. Checking and savings statements, pay stubs, credit card statements, bills, loan agreements, and income tax returns are all critical documentation needed during a divorce. These documents can help the court understand how money was handled as well as its source, such as the individual incomes of each partner.

Maintain Your Individual Credit

Your credit score plays a crucial role in many areas of your life, including your financial health. Despite the difficulties of your divorce, it’s important to maintain your credit. Unfortunately, people often complete a divorce with weak credit due to mounting expenses, their partner’s spending issues, and many other factors. It’s essential to continue building your individual credit so that you can avoid issues like higher financing rates or difficulty renting or purchasing a new property.

Don’t Forget About Insurance Policies

Insurance policies can become a complex financial task because they often affect other important aspects of your life, many of which were shared with your partner. For example, most life insurance policies will require beneficiary changes if you wish to remove your former spouse. Car insurance policies may also need to be changed if they were previously shared by both spouses or if vehicle ownership has changed.

How Can I Afford to Live on My Own After Divorce?

During a divorce, you may experience multiple different housing situations, all of which present different financial concerns. So, how does this work?

Home Sale

One Spouse Buys Out the Other

Since a home is a physical asset that cannot be split unless sold, the person remaining in the family home must often “buy out” the other spouse. This can be done via a cash out finance or forfeiture of an asset or assets of equal value. With these assets or funds from the cash out refinance in hand, the other spouse can afford a new living situation. The title will need to be transferred to the remaining spouse, and all ownership and mortgage documents should be solely under that spouse’s name.

Spouses Agree to Sell the Home

Another option is selling the family home. Sometimes, this is the best option for couples who do not have children, or cases where neither partner feels they have the finances to maintain the home on their own. With the help of a real estate agent and your lawyer, you and your partner can sell your shared home and then split the proceeds fairly. If you and your partner can’t afford to keep the home or are worried about selling it in the current market, you may also agree to rent the house to a third party. When this happens, proceeds can be split between both partners.

Other Circumstances

Unfortunately, the above options may not be available for all couples, especially if they owe more for the home than the home’s current market value. In some cases, if neither you or your partner wants to remain in the home, or neither of you feel you can afford to stay there, you may have to agree to sell the home at a loss. In more severe circumstances, foreclosure may be necessary. Moving forward, the assets retained after the divorce and your own efforts to maintain your credit should help you find a new residence you can afford.

Protect Yourself and Prepare Your Finances During a Divorce

We provide affordable legal services for any individual involved in or looking to initiate a family or divorce law case. We offer guidance as well as our professional expertise and knowledge of the law. We are located in the heart of Phoenix, but our services are digital, which allows us to help individuals throughout the state.

 

*Editor’s Note: This article was originally published March 21, 2018 and has been rewritten August 23, 2022.

The Human Side
Author Jonathan Roeder Posted on

Divorce Report 2018: The Human Side

We all know the divorce rate is high, though it’s thankfully not as high as the 50% we often hear. It’s actually lower but the exact number varies depending on the study. Since divorce is still a common problem and grey divorce (among people over age 50) is on the rise, WP Diamonds decided to do some research on the human side of divorce. To that end, they conducted a survey of 1,018 divorcées in the United States and asked them about their personal experiences and insights.

Study: The Basics

The average age of participants was 23.2 years old when they first married and 38.7 when they separated, making 15.5 years the average length of a marriage. Notably, those who married under 25 stayed married longer (16.8 years) than those who got hitched when they were older (11.3 years).

 Why Divorce?
‘We just didn’t love each other anymore’ say one in five when asked why they got divorced. But the number one reason turned out to be communication problems, though this seems to be a more important reason for younger participants. One in four who married before 25 names it, compared to only one in five who married after 36. So, what does it mean exactly? Well, turns out ‘communication problems’ is a euphemism for some seriously toxic forms of interaction: contempt, criticizing the other’s personality, defensiveness and stonewalling (not communicating at all).

For 24% of those who married under 25, infidelity was a factor. After that, the other main motivators cited for divorce are: the inability to resolve conflict (22.2%), incompatible life goals (10.2%), lack of individual freedom (12.6%) and financial problems (12.6%). Domestic violence was given as a reason by 3.5%, though unfortunately that relatively low number doesn’t mirror data from the U.S. Census Bureau.

 Selling the Wedding Ring
Since 49% of respondents said their separation cost more than $10,000 (the longer the marriage, the costlier the divorce), it’s no wonder many divorcées look for creative ways to bulk up their bank accounts. Interestingly enough, the majority of the participants sold jewelry (the old wedding ring as a symbolic gesture perhaps), clothes and other personal belongings. Women also preferred to borrow money from friends if necessary, whereas men would rather go to the bank for a loan.

 Seeking Help
Most participants sought help from a lawyer (40%) and one in four considered visiting a therapist to navigate the emotional stages of separation. Those people seeking therapy reported dealing with aspects of grief: denial, pain, uncertainty, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance.

Tying the Knot, Again
But to end on a positive note, all this hasn’t made us lose our faith in marriage at all. Only 9% of respondents said they would never marry again, compared to almost three-fourths who said they would consider getting remarried or had already even tied the knot for a second or third time!

By Dorien Dijkwel

Source: https://movingpastdivorce.com, “https://movingpastdivorce.com/2018/03/new-divorce-report-2018-human-side/#sthash.QFPFdQU4.IT0cxgPW.uxfs”, Dorian Dijkwel, 3/1/2018.

Wrecking Your Finance
Author Jonathan Roeder Posted on

How To Keep A Divorce From Wrecking Your Finances

By Laurence Kotlikoff, Next Avenue Contributor 

(Kotlikoff also contributes to Forbes. His posts can be found here.) 

Divorce is always sad, but when it turns ugly, it’s terrible. You may remember The War of the Roses, the dark comedy where Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas start out as a perfect couple and end up destroying their possessions — including their luxurious house and cars — because they can’t agree on who gets what. That movie is unfortunately hitting home for plenty of boomers and Gen X’ers. According to a recent survey by Allianz Life Insurance, two thirds of divorced women feel their divorce created a financial crisis.

Many of my friends have gone to divorce war, but unlike Turner and Douglas, they destroyed their finances (by paying steep legal fees), not their possessions. Divorce doesn’t have to be as financially painful as it so often is, though.

Why Divorce Turns Into War

What drives divorce wars? My hunch is that many are driven by very different assessments by spouses of the impact of their proposed settlements. For example, a husband may think his settlement proposal is incredibly generous while his wife thinks it’s miserably cheap. Without a neutral measurement stick, their fight — with the lawyers’ meters running — can go on and on.

s an economist, I’d say that this is where economics can help couples. Its math and computer algorithms can figure out precisely how much each spouse will get to spend now and in the future under any given divorce settlement. And this analysis can take into account all relevant factors, including the division of assets, alimony and child support, child custody and the disposition of the marital home.

How do I know? My company just released a new software tooldesigned to limit divorce wars (full disclosure: I derive no income from it). It calculates each spouse’s living standard under any proposed divorce settlement.

John and Sally’s Equitable Divorce

Let me illustrate this new technology:

Take John and Sally Doe, both 50, who are untying the knot after 25 years. John earns $200,000; Sally earns $40,000. John and his employer both contribute $6,000 a year to his 401(k). Sally and her employer both contribute $3,000 to hers. John and Sally plan to retire at 65. The couple has one child, Sam, 10. Sam will spend 80% of his time with Sally and 20% with John. John will cover Sam’s college expenses. The couple own a $450,000 house with a $90,000 mortgage. John proposes that Sally live in their house for eight years, while he picks up three-quarters of the housing cost. Meanwhile, John will buy a condo for $200,000. Sally will buy the same-priced condo when they sell their house, sharing the proceeds 50/50. John also proposes dividing the couple’s $200,000 in regular assets and $1 million in retirement assets in proportion to their labor earnings.

John wants to be fair. He figures that paying for most of Sally’s and Sam’s housing for the next eight years, covering Sam’s college expenses and housing and feeding Sam one-fifth of the time is highly generous. He also believes his and Sally’s living standards will be pretty similar once his much higher tax payments are factored in. So John proposes no alimony or child support.

Is John right? Will he and Sally be able to spend roughly the same amount over the rest of their days?

No, he’s wrong. But by playing around with the numbers and the software they can arrive at an agreement that works for both of them.

John’s proposed settlement lets him spend $83,215 annually and Sally spend $23,353 annually (measured in today’s dollars) after covering all housing costs and taxes. There are lots of reasons for this big differential, including John’s higher salary, his large asset share and his receipt of higher Social Security benefits.

When Sally points out the large spending (living standard) difference, John offers to split all assets 50/50. Now John’s and Sally’s annual spending amounts become $73,891 and $35,757, respectively.

Sally, who sacrificed her career to put John through law school and raise Sam, digs in her heels. “John, you need to pay alimony and child support,” she says. John agrees to $25,000-a-year in child support until Sam goes to college. Sally runs the computer program again and finds that John’s annual spending would now be $68,783 and hers would be $41,158.

Sally says, “John, sorry, but you wouldn’t be making five times my salary if it weren’t for me. There is no reason I should have a lower living standard going forward. If you pay me $20,555 each year in alimony and agree to the other things you offered, we’ll both get to spend the same amount each year: $54,836.”

John thinks this over and then counters with a $10,000 annual alimony payment, pointing out that his job is far more demanding than Sally’s. Sally, upon reflection, decides this is reasonable and the two hire a single attorney for one hour to draw up the agreement. Sally and John used economics to save their divorce.

How to Divorce Fairly

Couples don’t have to use this software to come up with equitable divorce agreements. You can also get a rough handle on your relative spending levels by comparing each spouse’s disposable lifetime resources.

To arrive at this number, you’d start by calculating your lifetime resources (the present value (how much a future sum of money is worth today) of your future labor, Social Security and other income including alimony and child support plus your current net worth. Next, you’d subtract the present value of your projected taxes, housing costs, expenditures on children and other expenses including alimony and child support payments. The difference is your spendable resources.

Do this for your spouse, too, and then divide by each spouse’s maximum remaining lifespan (use a calculator like this one) to find what each spouse will be able to spend annually. This is a rough calculation primarily because you’ll need to guesstimate your taxes and may mis-estimate your Social Security benefits, since they may be different in the future than what you expect today.

Source: www.forbes.com “https://www.forbes.com/sites/cdw/2017/09/21/three-organizing-principles-for-digital-transformation/#1900a7504da3”, Laurence Kotlikoff, 5/31/2017.

Tax Invoices
Author Jonathan Roeder Posted on

Effects of Taxes on Divorce Negotiations in 2018

With the passing of the U.S. Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017, it is even more important than ever to make sure you’re taking taxes into account when you’re negotiating your settlement. There are several changes to the law, but the main ones that you should be paying particularly close attention to as you negotiate a divorce agreement are as follows:

1.     Alimony payments made by a former spouse will no longer be tax deductible for the payor. This is going to have the biggest effect on divorce negotiations.

a.     Until the end of 2018

i.     The payor of alimony is able to deduct that amount against his/her taxes. What  that means, is that whatever the alimony amount is, in effect it’s less for the payor once you take into account the tax deduction.

ii.     The recipient will have to pay taxes on the alimony which is treated as income. Typically, tax rates for the recipient are lower than the payor thus making it a win/win for both parties.

b.     Beginning in 2019

i.     Alimony payments will no longer be tax deductible to the payor.

ii.     The recipient not be taxed on the alimony received as income.

2.     The loan amount on which mortgage interest can be deducted has been reduced to $750k from $1m (not for existing home mortgages only new ones).

a.     If you’re renegotiating your mortgage because the home is being transferred into your spouse’s name, that will affect your taxes.

b.     If you’re looking to move and take out a new mortgage greater than $750k, again, you will feel the effects.

3.     Interest on Home equity loans is no longer tax deductible.

4.     The deduction of your State and Local taxes against Federal Income taxes has been reduced to $10k.

This is a very simplified version of the changes. Make sure you should check with your CPA or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to help you accurately plan for the tax consequences.

Source:https://thedivorcierge.com “https://thedivorcierge.com/2018/01/effects-taxes-divorce-negotiations-2018/”, Karen Bigman, January, 24, 2018.

BAD MARRIAGE
Author Jonathan Roeder Posted on

Why a Good Divorce Is Better Than a Bad Marriage for Kids

Anyone who is considering divorce knows that there is a lot of research demonstrating that divorce is difficult for children. If you’re considering divorce or in the process of getting one it can seem as though researchers are shaking their fingers at you, predicting the worst for your child. As a former divorce attorney, mediator, and Law Guardian, I worked with families going through divorce as well as those who returned to court for updates and changes to their parenting plans. I’ve also seen acquaintances, friends, and family members who have stayed together for the sake of the children. It’s time someone stood up and spoke the truth. While there is no question that divorce is hard for kids, it is a far cry better than raising your children in a violent, abusive, angry, or deeply resentful marriage.

If you stay married for the sake of your children, you expose them to daily arguments, negative undercurrents, shouting, possible violence, and an atmosphere that is in no way calm and peaceful. This has a huge impact on your child. When parents stay in a bad marriage, kids have to cope with the fall out from a never ending cycle of disputes, resentment, sadness, and even hate. A bad marriage is an open wound that can never heal as the scab is picked off again and again no matter how hard the parents try to keep things together for the sake of the kids. Children live in a volatile environment, which even if it is not violent, it is not nurturing and loving.

While the research is clear that divorce does have an impact on children, it fails to take into account the permanent emotional damage children suffer when they stay in one home with parents who can’t get along. A divorce frees everyone from this environment and offers many benefits to children:back to back

– Two homes where there is no constant arguing. This allows kids to just be kids without having to work around the complex negative emotions present in a conflict-filled home. Yes, having two homes is a change. It’s not always perfect but two homes without fighting is almost always better than one filled with arguments and marital tension.

– A calmer emotional baseline. Things are complicated in the months following divorce, but most families get through this transition and find a new normal. Children are no longer riding the waves of their parents’ relationship on a daily basis. Things settle down and everyone is calmer and less combative.

– Happy parents. The benefits of this are enormous. Happy people are better parents. Happy people create happy environments. Happiness rubs off on children. While it takes time to find your equilibrium after divorcing, it does happen for most people and is certainly a better outcome than living unhappily for years in a difficult marriage.

– Children learn that compromise matters. When they see their parents co-parenting and working through the issues in a divorce, children learn that compromise is an important and effective skill. While no divorce is without challenges, getting through it shows your child how to work through hard times to achieve a brighter future. Parents who choose to mediate their divorce show their children that working together to find a solution is preferable to fighting against each other.

– Parents who choose personal happiness teach their kids to do the same. While putting your kids first is often held up as the gold standard of parenting, deciding that your personal happiness is more important than having a nuclear family under one roof sends a powerful message to your children. It shows them that everyone deserves to be happy and that happiness is an important consideration in your life plan.

– Divorced parents can find their parenting mojo after divorce. This isn’t guaranteed, but if you have a reasonable parenting plan and are able to cooperate, each parent develops a unique parenting style from the ongoing one-on-one time with the children.

Source:https://www.huffingtonpost.com/ “https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brette-sember/why-a-good-divorce-is-better-than-a-bad-marriage-for-kids_b_6925236.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000004” Brette Sember, March 24, 2015.

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