A list of ten things seems to be a nice way to reflect on complex issues. You can check out my previous post listing 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Divorce. Although today’s list is similar, I wanted to emphasize some new points.
It’s like my older self is telling my younger (about to get divorced) self, what to expect.
Sometimes people impart wisdom and we listen but we’re not sure what to do with it. Or sometimes we ignore it only to find their words pop into our heads at a much later date (when we need it). I hope these words have some impact for you.
10 things I wish someone had told me before my divorce
- It’s going to be the hardest thing you’ll do.
- Things don’t simply get split 50/50. It’s complicated.
- It may very well be the best thing you do.
- Co-parenting can be a real bitch but it’s not about you.
- You’ll lose people.
- Lawyers are not your friends
- Haters gonna hate, hate, hate. Eventually you come to understand if those people cannot accept your genuine self—they don’t deserve you.
- Nothing worth having comes without some pain.
- Every end is a new beginning.
- This too shall pass.
To summarize, Divorce is the hardest decision a person can make but it’s also well worth the difficulties to attain personal happiness. Marital assets and your ‘things’ aren’t always split 50/50 and require some legal advice to determine fair division.
Furthermore, lawyers are not our friends, so we must save our whining and bitching for the therapist. Co-parenting is a complex beast with many variables but it’s what’s best for the children in most cases.
We lose people and we find new people—that’s a fact. It’s liberating and heartbreaking at the same time. In any event, your divorce will come to an end, so this too shall pass. Better things are waiting for you on the other side.
Jonathan Roeder is one of the founding partners of The Valley Law Group. He is an Arizona native who has dedicated his life and career to the service of others. After graduating salutatorian of his high school class, Jonathan attended beautiful and prestigious Pepperdine University, where he majored in Political Science. During his tenure at Pepperdine University, his passion for helping others grew after securing a clinical position with a residential treatment center for juveniles with substance addictions. Post-graduation, Jonathan returned to Arizona and served as a residential manager for mentally and physically disabled homes.